Aah, Las Vegas. 

We left on lucky Friday, 8/8/08 - for a “sneakend weekend” as my hubby dubbed it – from Rapid City, SD to Las Vegas.  Thankfully, the flight was on time (I get giddy like a kid as time draws closer) and I thought it was a nice touch that the pilot flew directly over Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse, intentionally or otherwise.  

We are lucky enough to have a discount airliner in town that flies directly to Las Vegas (Veejas if you’re nasty).  Allegiant Air isn’t for everyone – they do charge extra for checked luggage and assigned seats, and they have a limited flight schedule (Mondays and Fridays only for us).  We are able to work within their limitations as we only take carry-ons and the Monday/Friday flights fit our schedules just fine. We’ve yet to have to sit apart on the plane either.  We managed to nab flights for approximately $200 round trip for August, while our upcoming December flight was only $79/each way.  Allegiant has recently expanded their service locations to several places, including my hometown of Tampa/St. Petersburg, FL. 

We arrived in Vegas late in the day (sadly, too late to take advantage of the 8x points on 8/8/08  ) and made our way by taxi to our hotel – the Orleans.  Walking in, the place was alive with people, but lines were short and moving quickly. We tried bribing the front desk clerk with a tip for an upgrade, but she declined politely and advised that all upgrades come with an extra charge and she offered to check on the price for us. We in turn politely declined and the clerk assigned us a lovely room on the 10th floor with a great strip view.

The Room:
Our room was a standard non-smoking king but was larger than the standard hotel room.  It looked just like the picture.  It had a standard 32″ TV, unlike the plasmas that have started to grace the mid-level and higher hotels, but it was adequate just the same.  The full size couch, chair and coffee table near the picture window were nice touches. The bathroom was a decent size with a tile floor and there was a small etched-glass window in the shower that opened to the outside.  The towels were average – not scratchy like a motel using cheapo towels, but not the super plush cotton either. They were just fine – no complaints there. The water is definitely hard in the shower, but I prefer it that way – I dislike feeling like I can’t get the soap off in soft water. They had shampoo, conditioner and lotion in addition to face soap and body soap. I only used the soaps: the face soap was a standard hotel selection, but the body soap was great – it was molded with little massage bumps and was kind of a soft exfoliating soap. I was happy to continue to use the one from the first day and take the others home!

The view was great – we could see all the way from Mandalay Bay to the Hilton, including a great view of the Rio.

The bed was the only part of the room I can really complain about. Honestly, if the bed were a little better, this place would be a contender for our every stay & play. The bed was too firm for my body, and the pillows too flat for my husband. After the first night, we requested (and they quickly responded with) two extra pillows. The under-bedding felt like it had one of those plastic sheets (the ones you put under someone who habitually wets the bed) covered in felt. The linens were mid grade – not high thread count sheets, but not cheap scratchy ones like you’d expect at a bachelor pad. Honestly, I could look over everything except the firm bed. I like soft & cushy.

At one point, we noticed a generous flyer on the in-room desk for 1/2 price tickets to see Travis Tritt.  No offense to his fans, but I’d just as soon see New Kids on the Block (oh, yes, they’re playing Vegas too) than Travis Tritt.  I’m as big a fan of country music as I am of children in Vegas.

Our first night at the Orleans, we took advantage of their Friday night French Market Buffet Seafood Extravaganza. (Thank you LVA 2 for 1 coupon!)  Though I’m not a seafood lover, my hubby is and he gladly partook in a smorgasbord of crab legs, oysters rockefeller, and steamed clams. Their buffet is broken into the different cultural dishes, as is popular in many buffets. With their seafood night, they stayed true to their varied ethnic varieties, but incorporated them with seafood – example: Mexican station: Seafood Enchiladas. There were plenty enough non-seafood selections for me to fill myself beyond full. All was a very good quality with some original and unusual (but delicious!) choices.  The service there was fantastic – before we had to ever ask for drinks, napkins, etc., our server anticipated our needs and brought us all we needed.  

 After the dinner buffet, we signed up for Players Club cards, where they greeted us kindly and welcomed us with 3 strands of Mardi Gras beads each.

That evening we stopped at Brendan’s Irish Pub for the Dueling Pianos show. Both gals who played and sang were very talented in their own right, but despite my initial shameful hating on the young, 100-lb beauty who sauntered in wearing skin-tight, gold snake-print pants with spike heels, who I assumed was no-doubt hired for her lovely looks, turned out to be amazingly talented. Her knowledge of songs and her emcee abilities were well beyond her young years and her talent was unquestionable. In a word – she was a natural.  Sad to say, they overlooked our recommendations of “Baby Got Back” (tribute to Michele) and “Ridin’ Dirty” in their selection of songs. 

Before bed, we searched out the Triple Play 9/6 Jacks or Better machines we’d identified thanks to vpFree, and tried it for the first time.  I’ll tell you – I think it’s my favorite now.  While I’ll likely stick to $.25 play for the meantime, it was a blast. 

After a hard night’s sleep on the aforementioned bed, found ourselves back at the French Market Buffet, ready for breakfast, ACG 2 for 1 coupon in hand. The breakfast was mostly delicious. The coffee was great, the service was again fantastic and the place was mostly empty. They did a good job of not putting all the eating patrons grouped in the same area – that was nice. My fave on the buffet: Sweet Potato Pancakes. They were so good, I could almost forgive their terrible bacon. Almost.

We played a little more Triple Play JoB and though my luck was average, my hubby managed to hit dealt quads, which was a nice little boost. He bravely tried the Five Play for a short time, but quickly realized that’s a quick way to dwindle your bankroll.  He managed to hit several more quads over the course of our trip, but the elusive RF is still out there waiting for us.

We headed to the Stratosphere where we intended to sign up for their Player’s Club, coupon in hand for ”$200 in free play and comps your first day of play”.  Upon signing up, the boothli…um…Master of Boothery slyly brought out another flyer, similar to mine, but with a lot of fine print. She advised right away that the signup doesn’t come with ANY free play – there is no up-front, sign-on bonus. We decided that we had no real incentive to play at the Stratosphere then, but since we were there, ordered bloody maries and played a little bar-top JoB.  Surprisingly, we’ve managed to stop at the Strat for Bloody Maries on both of our last 2 trips and both have been excellent.  You’d kind of expect Caesars Palace quality (omg bad), but there actually quite good.  Not good enough for a special trip, but definitely a good drink order if you find yourself slumming there. 

We left the Stratsphere and stopped by the Sahara since we’d never been there and got another shot glass for our collection. We didn’t stay there long before moving on to the Hilton.

Our first choice was to stay at the Hilton, but the Star Trek and Trade Show conventioneers pretty well booked the place. $250+/night is a little hard for us to justify for just a simple (though very nice) room. Despite our residing at the Orleans for this trip, we wanted to put some play through at the Hilton in the hopes for some decent offers for our December trip.

We also wanted to try to visit Quark’s Bar & Restaurant one last time before they close on September 1st.  Quarks is an extraordinary place for us. Not only do they have some of the best-tasting drinks we’ve ever had, some of the most unique drinks we’ve ever had (the dry ice trick is way cool), and some of the best food, but everything about the place is comfortable and makes you feel as though you’re home away from home.  It’s a nice change of pace from the crazy, frenetic casino floor to sit back with a cold drink and lose yourself in an episode of Star Trek. It’s also a fun and unique experience when the costumed characters (paid by the establishment) come around and chat and engage you in some friendly banter and harassment. From the smell to the sights to the sounds, I will sorely miss that place. It held a special place in my heart.  Unfortunately, on our first full day there, it was much too busy with the Star Trek Conventioneers’ patronage for us to get a table. We put our hopes into the next day.

We played some dollar 9/6 JoB and some 7-hand video blackjack at the Hilton before making off to the monorail to MGM Grand where we enjoyed drinks and an appetizer at the Rainforest Cafe.  (Yes, I finally finished my drink – it was delicious!)  We don’t have a Rainforest Cafe, so it’s a nice treat for us.

From there, we hoofed it to Planet Hollywood and the Miracle Mile Shoppes to have a drink at Trader Vics.  We were greeted by a lovely litle waif who asserted that she’d have to see if there was room for us at the bar.  I felt as though perhaps she didn’t think we thirty-somethings were quite the young L.A. Jet-setter clientele she was aiming for.  Though they have misters setup outside to help beat the heat, there weren’t any takers – everyone had retreated to the cool refreshing air and seats at the bar with a blue glowing bartop. We ordered a Tiki Bowl – an orangey-boozey drink that was so-so, but had a lovely arrangement in a tiki bowl and a real orchid on top. My husband, the goofball that he is, took the beautiful orchid and ate a petal. Yes, he really ate it for no good reason. 

We left there and entered the P-Ho, but just barely.  A friend of mine recommended the penny slot machine “Shake Your Booty” to me, in which your goal is to reach the bonus round where a myriad of pirates allegedly shake their “Booty” and you collect the “gold” that falls. Now, I’ve never actually made it to the bonus round. Sadly, for me, this game is very entertaining, despite my bad luck. If mermaids show up on the screen they do a little “WoooOOOOoooo” sound like they were going over a dip in the road. When you get 3 blonde cabin girls, they holler, “Aaaall Meeeen oooon DEEEEEECK!” (my favorite part.) This game has never been kind to me, but yet I so enjoy playing it. There was a Shake Your Booty slot in a slant-top right at the mall entrance to the P-Ho, so of course, as we had some time before the buffet opened it and my husband, knowing my penchant for this game, popped in $40 for me. I tell you what, it was the loudest stinkin machine I’ve ever heard – one guy just stopped to watch as it was so loud! The sound level may have been enough to drive others away, but it just amplified those beloved sounds and increased my overall enjoyment! WooooooooOOOOOooooo!
When we were done there, we went to eat at the Spice Market Buffet. Oh…my…gosh…the food! They were broken up with the standard Italian/Seafood/Mexican/etc stations, but the also included (my favorite) a Mediterranean station. Though my plate had a speckling of Italian edibles, it was largely filled with delectables from the Mediterranean. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to many of the other stations. My husband told me if I had room to go back for anything, the Italian stromboli was to die for. While my belly could hold no more entrees, I always seem to find some small little pocket for dessert! The flaky home-made chocolate eclairs and mouth-watering warm brownies (with caramel sauce, hot fudge and fancy whipped cream topping) were scrumptious, but the chocolate-covered strawberries won my vote for favorite!

From there, we waddled our way out to the street and took a cab to Caesar’s Palace.  We walked through the Forum Shoppes and stopped at Fat Tuesdays for a couple of Hurricanes. We sat and watched what seemed like an endless parade of underage kids coming in to get mudslides, pina coladas and jello shots. Ok, so it wasn’t just the kids getting the jello shots. My hubby had never tried one, but realized with one slurp that he wasn’t missing much. Maybe the kids weren’t that young, as my hubby said they were checking everyone’s IDs, maybe it’s just me getting old!

We sauntered down the mallway and into FAO Schwartz, where we’d read that there was a Star Wars Cantina that served non-alcoholic drinks on the third floor, but sadly it is no longer there.  We did take the opportunity to entertain some kids watching us play air hockey.  Who was it that won again?  I can’t remember…   

We sat in the comfy couches near the entrance to the casino and just people watched for a while.  A silly game we play is identifying people that slightly resemble other people.  You know, “that guy kind of looks like he could be Russell Crowe’s older, uglier brother”, or “that gal looks like Goldie Hawn 30 years ago.”   Terrible, I know, but it’s almost instinctual.  We also love watching the people who hobble by, regretting their choice of footwear.  Cute, slightly uncomfortable shoes are great at the right venue.  Vacationing in Las Vegas is not one of them. 

After people watching and enjoying our drinks to their max (a little too sweet to finish), we made our way to the Caesar’s Palace Showroom to see Jerry Seinfeld! At the entrance, they had a metal detector (which surprised me) which helped them identify all of those offenders with cameras, which they quickly confiscated with an exchange of a ticket which was to serve as your identifier to pick up your camera post-show.

We got to our seats about 25 min early, which were positioned dead-center, towards the back of the first level. As the parade of people trampled by to their seats, an overly-energetic group sat directly behind us. The first offense - they had a difficult time hanging on to their drinks. Three – I kid you not – THREE drinks were spilled between the four of them throughout the show, each one with a loud clattering of heavy plastic on cement. That was tolerable, compared to the second offense – the loud interjections of one gal, who felt she so identified with the jokes, she needed to share this vital information with all the members of her party. She also helped them to identify which ones of THEM should identify with the jokes, “OMG, I’ve so totally DONE that!  Do you remember when I DID that?  OMG, that is SO FUNNY!”  “Mike – Mike – That is SOoooooOOO something you would do! Hee hee hee! You! That’s SO YOU, MIKE!!!” Unfortunately, my glare of ice didn’t quiet her down at all, as I believe she was wearing the kryptonite-like glasses of beer.
It took a little bit of time to get out of the theatre, but it was bearable.  I enjoyed the soothing crooning of the Sinatra music they played before and after the event.  Upon exiting the theater, the frenzied cluster of  all the tourists attempting to retrieve their confiscated cameras was something to behold. It was like a bunch of bees buzzing in a hive – all trying to move at once.  It was the first time I’ve ever been really uncomfortable in a crowd. Luckily, my husband is 6′3″ and a good shield. They didn’t do a very good job directing or informing the crowd. When you recieved your ticket, they said just pick it up after the show. I guess I figured I’d pick it up where I dropped it off, but instead they moved all of the cameras to the box office, of which I had no idea where it was, so I stayed nestled, moving with the herd slowly along the casino perimiter until we reached the Box Office. I heard one person say there was no waiting in the far lines, of which we were too far away to see and verify.  If they were indeed there, getting to them was another story. My husband and I parted company with plans for a meeting place post-chaos. I did my best to act like the little wiggle worm I’m often accused of being and use it to my advantage to get to the rumored lines on the far side, using another worm as a buffer, and by George, I made it. I had bettered my position from being about 40-deep in line to being third in line, where no one was waiting. I got my camera and we got the heck out of there.
We aimed for the closest exit to get a taxi, which proved more difficult than we imagined. First, the exit we took had a sign with an arrow that said Taxi, but there were no taxis there – just a lot of confused people. We decided to try to cross the street to the Flamingo to get a cab there, but as we walked into an area we thought would open to the road and sidewalk, it was simply a parking lot with very high walls. Too high to climb. So, we walked back to Caesars. At this point, we finally see where waaay around the corner and down a ways from where we were, there were taxis. And hundreds of people waiting to get into them. So, we walked around the parking lot, out to the street and up and over to the Flamingo. Since we didn’t see any real spots to catch a cab there either, we just walked back and took the monorail to MGM and a taxi from there. While standing in the taxi line at the MGM, we got to see the after-effects of too much alcohol on a young gent as his friends stood by and laughed.  Back home at the Orleans, our sore feet were ready to go to bed, along with the rest of us.

Sunday morning, we’d planned on having breakfast at the Mirage Cravings, but were a little buffeted out. We opted instead for coffee and a bagel at Seattle’s Best at the Orleans. We relaxed a little bit and then took a relaxing dip in the pool. The tall room tower on one side provided shade to about 1/2 of the area, giving a little shelter from the heat. The pool was nice and cool. It was very relaxing, save the man in the Speedo that SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN WEARING a Speedo. ((shiver))  Between that and the occasional waft of a disturbing stench, we went back and cleaned up, then went down and played a little more Triple Play VP and then headed out to the Hilton.

At the Hilton, we played some more Jacks or Better VP there and a little more 7-hand Blackjack.
We checked back every so often at Quark’s to see how long the line was and finally bit the bullet and waited in line. Luckily it moved quite quickly.  We were seated in the dining room closest to the casino, with a great view of the Star Trek Enterprise from the Star Trek Museum directly above us.  The costumed characters were out in full force, and we thoroughly enjoyed our banter with them.  On the level to our left, and about 2 tables away sat Zachary Quinto – currently on the show Heroes and to play Spock in the upcoming Star Trek movie.  Looking back, we think one of his dining companions may have been the guy playing Kirk, but we’re not positive.  We enjoyed our meal, as usual there, with my Flaming Ribs of Targ being my choice of a meal.   Delicious.  After our meal, we sat and had a drink or two and just enjoyed the ambience for a while.  Sadly, my brother will never get to experience Quark’s, as his virgin trip to Las Vegas will be with us in December.  As he is a big fan, the costumed characters were gracious to send him well-wishes via video.  They were hilarious – so true to their characters.  They have/had some fine actors and actresses there.  I hope they are met with some other great opportunities once Quark’s closes.

After a little more play at the Hilton, we made our way to the Sahara, which was surprisingly nice.  The casino floor had kind of a homey feel, and it was not dingy or dirty in any way that we noticed.  We played a little of their semi-creepy table video blackjack – the ones that have seats around table, with the dealer replaced with a series of video clips.  I could only take so much of the video clip dealer in a corsett leaning over and happily saying, “Dealer buusts!”, despite it being in my favor each time! We chose the Sahara to make our “drunk-dial” to our favorite podcast, Five Hundy By Midnight”, in which David gave an splendid trip report.

From there we headed to Palace Station for the Charity Auction Dinner hosted by Robert “The Holographic Doctor” Picardo from the Star Trek series.  While we anticipated a large event, there were in reality only 7 tables in a small conference room.  Each table had 6-10 people at them – it was very cozy and personal.  Robert made efforts to visit each table and converse with them.  I have a feeling he’d have spent a little more time at our table if it had not been the big ball o crazy he unwittingly sat next to.  This lady was something – she was asking him questions like, “Do you know my name?  Try to guess!  Nope!  Guess again!”  He was very generous in tolerating the level of crazy she was throwing at him.  She monopolized the conversation somewhat, but I did get in time to compliment his suit, which we discussed a bit.  Apparently seersucker is the bomb in the heat. 

Another fella that lit up our crazy detector was the head of the Star Trek fan club in Las Vegas.  He didn’t want anyone in the conference room early for some reason, but his decision was trumped by the two older ladies taking the tickets.  They brushed him off and let everyone in.  My favorite part about this anal fella was when Elvis was singing.  He threw off all inhibitions and danced and sang to each song, obviously trying to channel Elvis himself.  Man, did he boogie.  Not well, mind you, but damn he sure tried – he put his whole self into it.  I’ve got some token pictures, just to remind us. 

Though the night was long (auction ended after 11pm) and the bizarre company was abundant, we had a blast.  The Elvis Impersonator was fantastic (sang a couple with the host), the Alien Warrior Comic was in great form (and had the perfect audience for his material), and the hosts were hospitable and generous.  A nice surprise was to see “Ensign Kim” – Garrett Wang there to assist with the festivities. 

After the auction, we headed home to the Orleans and fell fast asleep.  We woke in the morning, packed and ready and headed to the Hilton for breakfast.  Before we ate, we stopped at the Player’s Club and asked to speak to a host, preferrably Tad, as we’d heard good things about him.  He talked with us via phone and we inquired as to our status.  Apparently, points do not add up so quickly with Video poker, because we were a loooong way off of “Elite” status.  We’d barely even scratched the surface.  Hoping at that point to get a buffet comp, Tad granted that request (called it into the VIP room for us to pick it up), and indicated that if we call him prior to coming in December, our room could be comped, at least partially.  (*Side note – my hubby was a little put off by the non-personal service – he didn’t enjoy standing in the lobby, leaning over the Player’s club desk to have a detailed conversation – so he emailed Les Thacker (whom we’ve heard very good things about) upon our return home.  He explained that he’d like to get aligned with him and book our room through him, if possible for our trip in December and asked when would be a good idea to start that process.  Les promptly called him back and advised he’d already taken care of all 4 nights for Dec – all booked and comped in an upgraded King room!  We are thrilled!)

I, personally, really enjoy the Hilton Breakfast Buffet.  They have good ready-made cheese omelettes and great bacon.  They have an ample supply of fresh fruit – not canned.  Any buffet that manages good bacon, fresh pineapple and fresh blueberries gets a good grade in my book.  They also serve up a great selection of pastries and donuts, as well as cheese, salmon, biscuits and gravy and more. 

After breakfast we went back to our favorite JoB Video Poker machine and played a little more.  We hoped to get into Quark’s quickly before we had to leave for our plane, but sadly the line was still too long.  I played one first and last winning round at a slot machine and we headed off.  

Something to note – Dave and I both play together on one machine, taking turns.  We find we both enjoy the wins and can console and encourage each other with the losses, plus it takes longer to lose!  When we order drinks while playing, we order drinks for both of us, even though, technically only one of us is playing.  Every casino has been extremely generous and always given us both free drinks.  Hey, thanks Las Vegas Casinos! 

Our plane trip back was a little interesting.  We were seated in the very back of the plane, with a view of the engine.  I’d never had a seat where you couldn’t see at least one window to judge your position.  I can’t say it was my favorite.  We were also seated next to a pair of children – I’m guessing ages 7 & 9 – travelling on their own for the first time.  They were fairly well behaved, but craved entertainment.  I spent the next 2 hours listening to, “Excuse me miss, could you tell me how much longer?” “Excuse me miss, do you know when they’ll come by with food”  “Excuse me miss, where do I put my garbage?”  And my favorite, “Excuse me miss, have you heard of Metallica?  My brother can play “One” on the guitar.”  The flight attendants skeptically allowed the children to purchase the following:  A snack pack, consisting of chips, crackers, cookies, and M&Ms, 2 sodas, a frappuccino (for a seven-year-old!?!?), more M&Ms, 2 mini cans of Pringles and more I can’t think of.  Both of their tray tables were COVERED in snacks.  The boy says to me, “I just LOVE to fly!  I hope we don’t land soon!”  Note – 2 sodas and a frappuccino takes its toll quickly on young, small bladders.  Thank heaven we were seated right in front of the loo, as it was nearly a consistent parade of one or the other traversing to the restroom.  My husband kept me sane, as the children asked me questions, he’d give me smart-alek answers whispered in my ear, just to make me laugh.  Example:  Child:  “Excuse me miss, what do you like best about Las Vegas?”  Dave (whispering in my ear):  “Legalized Prostitution.” 

We arrived home tired, feeling like we’d once again had our rear ends kicked by Fun and Las Vegas, and glad to see our own soft, cushy, comfy bed.  And of course, the dog. 

We were pleased to see that our house/dog sitter (namely by brother) managed to keep the place in one piece, until I heard a holler from the bathroom, resulting from Dave’s finding my brother’s underwear hanging from the curtain rod.  Don’t ask.  What happens at Dave and April’s, stays at Dave and April’s.   

Take care and happy Veejasing!

April